Rules of Engagement

Sooooo,
Somewhere between sleeping until 4pm [don't judge me....] and my wild weekends spent with friends who actually have jobs and/or school and therefore cannot "entertain" me during the week, is the excitement I feel when I get it into me that I WILL "life plan today" and the delicious, only-thing-that-is-stopping-me-from-burying-my-head-in-sand coconut "ice cream" [it's soy, lactose intolerants STAND UP] in the freezer. I'm not gonna lie. This blog, for me, is as much about commiserating as it is about restoring my sanity through proaction and accountability. That being said-- in my search for the mystical answers of "What will [or maybe, how will] I do with my life?" I've come across so many gems, both original and you know, "borrowed" from other sites that I will begin instituting more effectively, and immediately into my own life and search missions.

I came across this article from "Doostang" [what the heck is a Doostang, anyway?] titled, "Office Tips for the Recent Graduate," which AB's awesome post below recalled for me. There are 3 all important rules we should all follow when job hunting*. I dare say, after reading them, that these rules also apply to those of us who are attempting to pursue school before being thrown into servitude, ahem, day-jobs.

Rule #1: Lose The Sense of Entitlement. Doostang Says: Don't throw the name of your college or university around [particularly if you went to a college that has a neighbor college with a similarly sounding and spelled name and the two frequently get confused....personal issue] and don't assume that your "credentials" [I went to XYZ and I was....an RA AND work-studied in the dining hall] actually means anything to anyone. Be humble, be gracious, ask questions, don't assume [it makes an ass....], be friendly, be eager.

I Say: We're all insane if we think we can just walk into anywhere and have our school colors do all of the work for us. As guilty as I am of expecting people to think I'm cooler or smarter because of my university, I think Doostang is right. Just chill. Be that smart, witty, charming person you grew to be over those 4 years and just know that you've gotta work to make your mark. Special shout- out though to the EMPLOYERS who keep throwing YOUR school in your face --- I'm not even sure what the solution there would be.... Any tips? I guess just prove them wrong. Or, act as though you had no clue your school was insert awesome/unique/smart/infamous quality here. Denial always works? Right? Right!

Rule #2: Advocate For Yourself. I actually came across this article because after a convo with AB [we got a lot of talking done on that trip to Coney Island....] I realized that I had NO CLUE how to "advocate" or as importantly, "advertise" myself without looking THAT kid at school/work. But, as I've realized as I've grown up, if you aren't advocating for yourself, no one else will. [I realized that after a few years of super bad-health-luck, story for another day.] Doostang Says: If you don't assert yourself you'll get overlooked. Tell your boss about your role in XYZ project [NB: only if the project went well] be involved, and offer up any special skills [anything you're really good at].

I Say: Well said Sir/Madam Doostang! Ditto these rules for school. You don't have to be annoying or a brown-noser [ew. I'm not even gonna try to figure out how they came up with the term 'brown nose.' Although, a little bit of sucking up always works.] Just speak up! In the same way you'd tell your friends that you knitted a fantastic scarf that you're mom won't stop raving about or that you cooked dinner for your whole family and it was gobbled up in seconds, is the same way you should push yourself forward in school/work situations. It's not bragging-- it's sensible. Plus, [another traumatizing adulthood realization] everyone else is secretly [or not so secretly] doing it, so....why not you? Have a "can do" attitude and then do it and do it well. Then mention it to that professor/boss/researcher you're so desperately trying to work with but who won't return your call or emails [personal problem.]

Rule #3: Lay Low. Doostang Says: Of course you should talk about your accomplishments on the job/in class/etc. But maybe you should not do so immediately.

I Say: Doostang! This seems completely counter- intuitive to what you JUST told me in rule #2! I think what Doostang meant here is get a feel for your surroundings before you just jump right in on the "how can I make this situation work for me" boat. My sister, the best attorney in the world [yup, that's her official title] recently transferred jobs and spent weeks scoping out her new office before her official first day began. She needed to see how people dressed [it's not cool to be the only girl wearing a skirt suit and Loubies when the office dress code is jeans and a tee-- you'll automatically stand- out and not in a good way], the way the attorneys interacted with one another [were they friendly? did they collaborate a lot? were there tons of meetings?], and importantly, the way the attorneys interacted with partners [ were people on a first name-- invite my boss to my son's bday party-- basis or was it more 'conservative'?]. The point is that you want to know what you are getting yourself into so that you can get acclimated, be yourself, establish a routine, and THEN approach accordingly [and for people in school who opted out of working post- grad , this should be a bit easier because you're still on familiar-ish terrain].

These rules, albeit wordy, are pretty straight forward and have really good universal application. Now get out there/out of bed/off the couch, and apply these rules to EVERYTHING you do from networking [even if you are unemployed. As AB stated everything is a networking opp.], to your job, to your TA, to your classroom. Work it and make it work for you. [I know I will.... right after this quick nap, j/k.] I don't want to be cliche so I won't say these rules will work and we will all be Okay. I won't say it! Goodluck.

* useful for job hunting, after we've killed the interview and cinched the job, and in any classroom setting.

**Source: Doostang

Congrats, Grad!

Congratulations! You’ve graduated!!! The persistence, all-nighters, office visits and networking events paid off…or did it?!? As you sit in your parent’s living room, you can’t help but wonder. Mind you, I said your PARENT’S living room. It’s technically not yours. Despite the fact that you don’t finance it, you’ve been away, living your life for four years, thinking you’re grown. However, after the four years, here you are, jobless, perusing Idealist, CareerBuilder, Monster and any other sites that offer the hope for employment. From time to time, to break the monotony, you may work out a bit or catch up on Law and Order and Living Single reruns…or maybe that’s just me…I digress. Even if you’ve been submitting 20 resumes and cover letters a day, whatever you do, don’t give up.

I know this may sound nauseatingly cliché, but trust me on this one. Don’t give up. I’ll even share an anecdote. (Disclaimer: I have not disclosed the names of people and organizations involved in the following story. I have enough loans to pay. I can’t afford legal fees as well).
Waiting in what resembled an abandoned church, I recounted notes in my head. A friend’s mom mentioned that an organization I greatly admired was interviewing for an Executive Assistant position. While the position itself didn’t appeal to me greatly, I knew it would be an amazing opportunity working for such a company, and it certainly beat tweaking cover letters and watching Synclaire and Overton’s goofy relationship (please see Living Single reference above). It was the day of my interview and I had a good feeling about things. The interview went extremely well…so well, in fact, that I was asked to start the same day. I had been hired on the spot before, but I had never been asked to start the same day. I didn’t protest, however, because I was grateful to finally have a job and excited to begin.

After two days of work, both of which were over OVER time, I learned the following:
· Most people are lazy. I did everyone’s job for my first two days. From the Executive Director to the Head of Maintenance…no one felt uncomfortable delegating their tasks to me, as they took extended lunch breaks or came to work late. Some were bold enough to hand off their tasks while they hung around the office and chatted with colleagues whose work I would be completing next.

· If you graduated from a decent university and no one else in your office did, they may bring it up ALL THE TIME. I didn’t even bring up the college thing, despite mentioning it in my interview. Nevertheless, I was constantly reminded that I went to such and such school so I probably thought I was smarter than this person…or I went to school hghgjhg, so inherently, I was superwoman and could accomplish 15 tasks in 15 minutes. The constant educational references distanced me and didn’t help make me feel part of the team.

· If you at all value order and your sanity, working in a disorganized office with obstinate people is impossible. After only two days, I not only realized the potential of the organization but the fact that it was stagnant potential. People were not committed to the mission of the organization, and it killed me knowing that if all those people quit/got fired, I could replace them with recent grads I knew, who would do their jobs with more fervor and bring the organization to new heights. No one even knew where files from last month were and there was no working system, so….

I quit.

I decided that I would rather sit in the living room with my laptop, job searching. It sounds crazy, but knowing how much you can tolerate is extremely important. Be realistic in your search. The right job will come along. Sometimes it takes a ridiculous job experience to realize this.
To wrap things up for now, I was back to my usual, submitting my resume to 20 places per day, when I decided to be responsible and go to my annual visit to the optometrist...(stay with me for a second). I went to the optometrist and he asked me what I was doing with my life. Then, he inquired about my interests and voila! Turns out one of his best friends was a partner at a law firm in Manhattan. I submitted my resume, went through a grueling interview process and secured a job before the summer was over.

There are opportunities everywhere. During these times, human interaction is a great way to get yourself out there. Talk to everyone about your passions and what you truly want to find and trust me, it will manifest itself.
Now, do I love this job? Not quite, but I tolerate it ;) I’ll save the details for another post.

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Remember how life had been so simple for the past...say, 15+ years? You wake up to a cold bowl of Fruit Loops [mMm, yummy Cream of Wheat with EXTRA condensed milk], you take in the morning cartoons [or later in life, more "sophisticated" television], your bag has been packed by Mom, your class schedule is laid out for you, and you know EXACTLY what you'll be doing come next semester? 'Cuz you know....2nd grade follows 1st, and 10th grade follows 9th, and duh, Senior year of college follows Junior? Then BAM-- you graduate and you're out on your ass? You feel insane because of all of a sudden you have student loan payments, or the possibility of graduate school [but in what? and where? and why? and who will pay??], the desperate search for employment all while enjoying the "best years of your life." All of a sudden there's no one to tell you what classes to take, how to fix your schedule, that babysitting money you earned isn't going toward "fun" anymore, and you're just...lost and confused? Well, we're trying to make this not only a place for you to vent and be scared and be sad [cuz, really, who are any of us young 20somethings kidding?] but also a place where you can watch us try to make the most of these years and stumble/discover for ourselves the best way to save, move out of Mom's house, pay those loans, pick the right careers, and generally, navigate the limbo that is the Terrible 2[wenties]! Hope you keep coming back.

xo,

A+A